Author: Rebecca Lester

7 Worst Thanksgiving Puns to Enjoy this Holiday

7 Worst Thanksgiving Puns to Enjoy this Holiday

Thanksgiving is a time when we gather with friends and family, we eat great food, and we always say why we’re grateful. If you’re bored of the same old thing each year, spice it up this month with a great line-up of Thanksgiving themed puns!

  1. When talking to that one ultra-religious family member, pretend to be drunk and yell “I’m as smashed as these potatoes!”
  2. Someone trying to take something of yours? Poke them with your fork and say, “You butter not touch my food” (you can also use butternut if it happens to be on the table)
  3. When you go around the room to say what you’re thankful for, pull out a cheese grater and explain you’re very grateful1. Add a block of Parmesan to make it extra cheesy
  4. In charge of the bread supply this year? Make sure you to exclaim “I’m on a roll!” Pause for dramatic effect and slowly whisper, “Like butter.” Add finger guns for extra pun points.
  5. When seasoning your turkey, remember to throw a tantrum and scream “I don’t have thyme for this!” Don’t worry, your family will forgive you later.
  6. Before you eat make sure to annoy everyone by proclaiming “I’m going to gobble up this food!”
  7. When you’ve eaten to your heart’s content, rub the remaining bits of turkey gently and tell your family “Like this turkey, I too, am stuffed.”

Author’s Note

*1 Can we talk about how silly it is that it’s “grate”-ful and not “great”-ful? This is the whole reason I came up with this pun- the English language is so convoluted!

I hope you all enjoyed this silly list of Thanksgiving puns – I’m sure the “first” Americans would have! I hope everyone enjoys their holiday feast this year and make sure to keep an eye out for the second installment of Holiday Puns!

Nostalgia: A Generation’s Coping Method

Nostalgia: A Generation’s Coping Method

The ache for homecoming. That’s the origin of the word nostalgia. And, as we all know, home is where the heart is. So, where are the hearts of my generation? What do we associate with “home?”

The reality is I don’t think we know. We were all born to a transitional period in global history, one that has yet to slow. By the time I was 18, I was longing for the feeling of an old Polaroid camera or my childhood film cameras. For me, photography is a primary way of keeping track of time, and the days of film cameras and going to Eckerd’s to develop the film is one of the last times I felt social stability.

Living in the sentimentality of nostalgia grounds me, and lets me look to the future with less despair, and maybe even outright hope.

Turns out, I’m not the only one. Nostalgia has been cited as a way to combat depression and increase optimism for the future. A bona fide coping method we millennials, and our successors, are ascribing to full throttle. To what do I refer? Let’s break it down.

Read More Read More

Not Just a Vagina Monologue

Not Just a Vagina Monologue

Naked except for a small bikini bottom and the juice of a fresh mango flowing down my chin onto my chest, onto my hands, onto my arms. That is the image I conjure when I think of my childhood. I remember the baby blue bikini I loved with little bees printed all over it, and I remember it was my uniform for the pool, the beach, and mango season.

I remember standing on stage for a summer performance and having the only two-piece swimsuit; I remember the first time I had to buy a one-piece swimsuit for a swimming class; I remember the awkward tan lines; I remember feeling too shy to wear such small bikinis during puberty; and I remember never deciding what swimsuit to wear based on other people.

I don’t know about you, but I believe we should pick our swimsuits (and other clothing) based on what we think about it, not what others might think. I believe that it’s okay to go topless at the beach, and I believe I will never be okay with doing that myself.

Read More Read More

Miami Cafés to Know by Heart

Miami Cafés to Know by Heart

I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of caffeine and the quirky places that serve it in delicious drink form. Hot, cold, with sugar, or without, if it has caffeine I probably want to gorge myself on it. So without further ado, here are some of my favorite cafés in Miami:

Read More Read More

One of the Guys

One of the Guys

For as long as I can remember I’ve been one of the guys. I was always called a tomboy, even when my hair went past my butt. When I finally cut my hair in eighth grade that seemed to cinch my place in life as one of the guys.

When I thought about cutting my hair I thought about a lot of things — would I like the haircut, would it grow out weird, would my friends recognize me, could I pass as a guy my first day at school with short hair? It never occurred to me that people might see my short hair as a declaration of my sexuality or even gender. I thought if I dressed in baggy clothes, maybe I could pass for a guy but I never thought people would think I was a guy when I wore skirts or heels or a dress.

Read More Read More